Why is it easier to talk to a stranger?

Why is it easier to talk to strangers?Since childhood you’ve been told not to talk to strangers, but as you grow old, why is it so that a lot of times you find it easier to have a deep conversation with a stranger? Things that you tell just yourself may be.

Why do people find it comforting to get out of their comfort zone and feel free to have a friendly chat with someone who you can’t call a friend… yet?

More and more people find it difficult to tell their loved ones what actually goes inside their head. There is a shell that has been created, a safe haven which we find difficult to leave, open to the people it would be easiest with, the ones near you. Is it because of a black hole being created at the centre of the being which you wouldn’t want the precious ones to get sucked up in? But this Black Hole needs to be constantly fed with random or new conversations and connections, otherwise it will suck you up and then you will cease to exist. Or people won’t be able to notice your presence because you will exist inside that hole which can’t give or take anything.

It is almost like we are giving a performance to someone who didn’t know you till now and chances are they might never come to know you. You blurt out all your thoughts to them and become that interesting character who the other person is listening to so intently. But we are afraid to say the same things to someone who might actually have peeled down those layers much before and sees you as you.

We want to be stronger than everyone else or atleast appear to be so. Someone who can’t be broken down by anything or anyone, physically, mentally, emotionally. And it is fun adn simple to do with people who don’t know you much.

But … who has the power to influence you the most? – The ones you care for or vice versa. And who is the easiest for us to push away? – The ones close to you. Because somewhere you know that this is momentary, they won’t leave you, you can ignore them but there will still be that chance of them coming back. So it’s a win-win for you.

This journey not just takes you away from them, somewhere you drift away from yourself too. At times, these people define you & who you are. This time when you are drifting away, finding comfort in strangers, making friends on social media or networking your way to forming those infinite short-lived connections, you seem to be much more stronger & focussed to yourself. But will you survive in the long run? After all, wasn’t all this for the age old mantra – ‘Survival of the fittest’

Won’t you want this feeling of strength to last longer? Start with the courage to talk your heart out… Walk on your road of yellow bricks.


The Giggler

I am unhappy when I am happy


First time i heard this phrase I said to myself “What is wrong with this man? He must be miserable” But I was wrong somewhere. I have come across so many such phrases now that I am utterly confused.

Why is it becoming so difficult to fathom the idea of finding pure happiness from the smallest joys of everyday life or simplest of things around you? Why are we shunning the idea of a hearty laugh and sending an all expenses paid trip open invitation with one-way ticket to displeasure?

Have you noticed people who have stopped laughing to their heart’s content? Sometimes it is done voluntarily. Some even have the fear that ‘if others see that I am too happy then they will think that I am content with what I have and I don’t want to progress in life.’ Any pretence to gloominess is most welcome.

Will you stop yourself from making a face in front of a child to see him/ her laugh just so that others don’t see you act immature? Then you shouldn’t stop yourself from making your inner child happy again.

I listen to people and I hear them too. This phrase got me thinking how everything is right and everything is wrong at the same time, you just need to flip the coin and see…

“ I am unhappy when I am happy”

I was initially confused by the pride with which the speaker uttered these words. There is a glint of happiness that you see in that pride. If being unhappy and dissatisfied makes them happy then there shouldn’t be anything right or wrong about it. For a lot of people, this dissatisfaction is the force majeure that drives them to do wonderful things and yes we are in the wrong to ask them to fake a smile.

So by that logic even “I am happy when I am unhappy” hold true too? (Damn you ghissu brain! Everything can’t be solved. LHS is not always equal to RHS)

Can dissatisfaction be a greater force than joy or elation? But so many studies show that happiness enhances productivity. Or does this work on just a few individuals and not in a group?

Imagine a world where these individuals change, may be you and I will not be proud of them anymore. May be they won’t be able to achieve the pinnacle of success that they can right now by being uncomfortable with status quo.

So let everyone do as they wish to…

There is a lot more to think and feel about , but a few words which always put me at peace:

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Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.

I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense.

Rumi – 13th century

Independent Existence or Human Touch – What would you choose and why?

When someone said that nothing good comes out of anything post midnight, should have listened to them. This is the kind of stuff you get after a past 12 am conversation with friends…

We talk about being independent and the associated high of taking your own decisions, staying away from your family, being on your own as that is the ultimate goal in our lives. To never be dependent on anyone so that you are always prepared for the worst. But Why?

What is so bad about trusting anyone and being dependent on them?

Has this term ‘Independent’ lost its true meaning somewhere on the way? What kind of independence do you seek? Financial, Emotional or Physical

And what are you willing to sacrifice for it?

Once in a while you will realize that your body and mind are demanding the simplest of thing possible for us living in a world where we are surrounded by so many people – a human touch. Or let’s make it simple – You need a hug! A warm, fuzzy, comforting, long, engulfing, selfless, cuddly hug!

How difficult can that be you ask?

You have been staying away from home for so long that you yearn for your own mother’s hug. You have forgotten how it feels like. Since you don’t trust anyone too quickly, it takes too long to get touchy with anyone in general. You never feel comfortable asking for a hug from someone either. The ones you are actually close too might just be living in another town or too busy to meet up at that very moment when you need it the most.

Why is it suddenly so important for us to have our own space? All of us have read the classic statement – ‘Humans are social animals’

Aren’t we supposed to live together?

Are our own egos getting bigger than us?

We boast about the number of friends we have – both online and in whatever is left of our personal lives, but still can’t hug anyone whenever we feel like or hold a hand.


So what do we choose and why?